You Are So Funny....NOT!

Well, there are funny people, and there are funny people who are annoying.

I always appreciate the presence of funny people around me because they just do a hell of a good job at making me laugh. The one thing I like best about these funny people is that they would be conversing about something and suddenly they would say something that would be absolutely hilarious. Usually, they compare the topic we/they are talking about to something that they have experienced in the past, watched on tv, or read in a book. There are also those funny people who just randomly pull something out of their asses. What they say may or may not make sense, but it sure does crack me up (these are #1 on my list).

These are the kind of people I like. I always like it when they are being funny just because i love to laugh and they do a good job at making me laugh my lungs out. I always wait with bated breath for them to crack their  next joke!

And then there are the funny people who are annoying. Notice that I am still calling them funny.

These people have a good sense of humor, no doubt. But they are not the natural jokesters. Okay, sorry, they are, but they try too hard. Let me tell you what they do.

They crack a joke, and a person like me laughs. Immediately, two things happen. Either they get some kind of an ego boost and assume that their value went up on the "How funny are you" stock exchange, or they think that it is their moral responsibility to keep me happy by making me laugh constantly. And here is when they start mutating from funny to funny but annoying.

I usually don't like to break people's hearts. If they keep cracking jokes, I keep laughing (yes, fake laughter). But after a while my jaw starts to hurt, and I start blaming the supposed jokester for bringing misery to me. I immediately start praying to God to make that guy stop. If I am on an airplane, I immediately open a book or close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. But if I am in a social gathering stuck with this clown, I keep laughing. Sometimes the jokester sees my eyes water while I am laughing and immediately assumes that he is  doing a very good job. I wish he (sometimes she) knew that the tears were a direct result of the suffering his or her jokes (or should i say their will to keep going) were causing.

But just like so many other things in life it is pretty much impossible to escape this species. They are everywhere, and determined to ruin your day by being extremely funny.

Deja Vu..

My friends often complain to me about how their parents are always digging their noses in to everything, and that they are so interfering and annoying that my friends just want to move to a different city so that they could stay away from their parents and live in peace and enjoy the freedom, do whatever they feel like, and most important of all, not be annoyed by illogical and irrelevant arguments.

That kind of always bugged me, and to be honest, I felt really bad - not for my friends, but for their parents because (until a week ago) I had not seen my parents in three years, and in the last three to four months or so, was getting a little homesick. In the last three years, I missed them a lot, and always yearned for their love and comfort they have given me. That is the only reason why I could not comprehend the fact that my friends were trying to run away from their parents.

My parents came here a week ago.

Like I said earlier, I saw them after three years, and obviously, was totally thrilled. I totally loved their presence around me. I love my mom and was very very glad to see her.

However, it's been just one week, and I am beginning to remember my days of freedom that I have enjoyed in the last few years. I have started to understand why my friends are trying to run away from their folks. I have realized that kids change, but parents don't.

Don't get me wrong though. I love my parents - to the bone. But there are so many things that are somewhat annoying me, and when I look back, I realize that this is how it's been right form the beginning...

My dad loves politics, which essentially means that he loves to discuss politics with whoever is around him. Unfortunately, I am the one who ends up around him these days, and he asks me random questions. Now seriously, I have no problems answering his questions, but he has a certain answer in his mind which defies all kinds of logic, and he expects my answer to be as close to his answer as possible.

I think my dad has a problem accepting technology and the amazing things it can let you do. My sister goes to work and usually I am either on the computer, or on my phone - Facebooking. My dad is always intrigued - he keeps wondering why I keep punching buttons on my phone all the time. I don't tell him that I Facebook - explaining the entire phenomenon to him would be another daunting task that I am not sure I can handle very well. Plus, I would have to tell him the pros and cons of social networking, and listen to his theories about how technology is killing the beautiful art of letter writing.

He also thinks that there is a reason for everything - and that he is supposed to know all those reasons. He wonders why the person living downstairs smokes so many cigarettes, why there is a doormat at the entrance (duh, right?), why my sister and I grocery shop like the world's going to end tomorrow, etc. My sister and I more often than not fail to answer his questions. Even if we provide an answer, I am sure it does not meet his expectations.

My mom always wants me to eat. If I am sitting idle (read Faceooking on phone) she thinks I am hungry and instantly asks me to eat something - like repeatedly. She also cannot comprehend why we buy so many items when we grocery shop. 

Just yesterday all of us went to my sister's boss's house for dinner. Now, to be honest, I have changed a lot in the last so many years. I mean, my sense of humor, the way I talk, the way I smile and all that jazz has definitely changed, and I myself can feel it. There was a time when I would totally get a panic attack when someone talked to me about cigarettes or booze in front of my parents, but not anymore. Last night I cracked a few booze jokes at my sister's boss's house and we all were laughing like cute donkeys. Well, not sure if we all were laughing - I forgot to see my dad's reaction. He is totally against alcohol and cigarettes and meat and all that jazz, and I am pretty sure that after last night my dad thinks that I am an asshole.

My mom was surprised by how outspoken and "stylish" I was. She probably thought that I am an asshole when it comes to socializing and all that, but I surprised her. She thought I have an american accent though. My sister and I think I don't, and that is absolutely correct.

So anyway, a few shockers here and there have been experienced, and memories from childhood have been brought back - in just one week. It is amazing how parents don't change one bit. They are as stubborn as mules, and so are the kids. However, it is kind of fun when we all argue about immaterial things, trying to prove that the rest of the gang is absolutely wrong. All of us in my family have different personalities - my dad and sister are the kind of annoying ones with their unlimited questions and Hitlerism whereas my mom and I are the patient ones, who keep their cool all (most?) of the time. 

Being with family is both fun and unfun.

Don't Do It Again..Please

Confession.

I really hate it when people say "Welcome to the club". To be more specific - whenever I do/ buy something I tell people about it. If those people have already done/ bought it they say " welcome to the club". They usually have a smile on their face that tries to convey a certain message which goes something like, "hey, you know what, you did what I had done a long time ago, and your life would have been totally incomplete if you hadn't done what you just did."

I don't care about the message being conveyed, but the phrase annoys me - annoys me so much that I almost make an ugly face when somebody says it. In my mind I say WTF? to myself, but keep quiet. No I don't keep quiet. For some strange reason I say "thank you" to the other person (WTF, right?). And then I smile. I don't let the annoyance brewing inside me show on my face. I just decide not to offend the other person.

If you really want to use that phrase on me, use it when I really join a club that you are already a member of. Please don't otherwise. Please.

I hate it.

Another phrase that totally annoys me is "believe you me". I go "WTF?" every time someone says it. It doesn't make sense at all. If someone asks my name, do you think I would say "My is name Venkat"? I am sure you said no to that.

So all you nice people out there - if your friend does/ buys something that you already have - don't annoy them. Don't try to welcome them to a non existent club that only you are a member of. Say "Oh how nice!" or "Cool!" or "Attboy/girl" instead.

Thank you.

Biding My Time...

I have neglected my Mindstorms NXT robot for a long time now. I paid $222 for it when I was unemployed (yeah, I know I am stupid). Well, the reason for this horrendous mistiming was the fact that it was nowhere available around an year ago - It was absolutely out of stock everywhere. I had checked so many websites and stores, but nobody had it. Finally I found this guy on e-Bay who was selling it for less than its MSRP of 250 bucks (wonder why) and he was also giving away stickers and batteries (yay!) for no additional cost. Of course, there was free shipping too. So thanks to my ultra handy credit card, I bought it. I did build a simple robot out of it (when I was in Baltimore), but within a few days I had to come to Ames, so I disassembled it, and bought it with me. Since then, the robot parts are sulking in their little box, not knowing when they would see daylight again.

I decided to unpack my Mindstorm today and build a nice little robot, but then I remembered that my rechargeable batteries are stuck inside something that is perhaps used more often - my xBox controllers. The only option is/was to go to a store and get some batteries, but then you cannot get what you always want, right? And of course, the almighty God needs to have a chuckle once in a while by totally stopping me from what I plan to do.

It snowed today.

There's snow everywhere, and now I don't feel like going anywhere. Not to mention that I have zero experience driving in the snow, so I really don't want to take chances. I can actually walk to a store that is not far from where I live, but dressing up and getting slapped in the face by the wind while walking to the store and back does not really excite me.

So here I am, sitting at home, drinking my chai, biding my time. [This line kind of rhymes with the line "I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine" from Norwegian Wood by the Beatles. Sing it!]

Supply Chain Gone Wrong Or Just Indifference?

In grad school we read so many case studies and articles about how amazing and powerful Wal-mart's supply chain is, with the real cool satellite links and sophisticated tracking systems and what not. I knew for a fact that the case studies were fairly accurate not because I never found anything missing in a Wal-Mart store, but because I always saw so many Wal-Mart semis on city roads and highways. Of course, there are so many of those always parked in the unloading zone of every store.

But lately, I have seen that they don't have stuff available - stuff that I really want. Last week, whenever I went to the Wal-Mart in my town to get green chillies, they didn't have it. I went there around 3 times. They didn't have it. I once went to the store in the morning to get my breakfast, and the presence of those freshly sprinkled peppers made me smile. I thought to myself that I would buy them on my way back home in the evening. I went to the store in the evening - they didn't have it! )

I wanted ginger yesterday (dry cough sucks!). I went to the store and did not find it. I even asked an associate, and she pointed me to a certain area and said that I would find ginger there. I told her that I have already looked there.

"Then we don't have it".

Seriously?

For two weeks I have been trying to get wheat tortillas at Wal-Mart. I just cannot find them. They have all kinds of tortillas - tomato basil, spinach, four flour, and what not. But wheat - no sir.

Whenever I don't find anything in a Wal-Mart store, I think of the articles I read in school, and then I go - "No, this can't be really happening". But the only problem is that it really is. Are the satellites hibernating? Is the tracking system malfunctioning? Or am I just over reacting to the absence of veggies in the store?

If I go tell one of them authors from HBR or Business Week or whatever about my experiences, would they believe me? I am sure I will be a tiny little dot on the graph far far away from the others, and they would outlie me. Perhaps, they would not even believe me in the first place.

But it's just sad to see things not available in my favorite store.

*sigh*

I like, I hate..

I hate:

- Doing my laundry.

- Folding/hanging my clothes in the closet after I do my laundry.

- Ironing my clothes.

- Vacuuming the floor.

- Doing the dishes.

- Getting up in the morning.

- Shaving in the morning.

- The feeling of going to work and spending eight hours there pretending to be productive.

- The fact that good clothes are so ridiculuously expensive.

- My non - existent sex life.

- Crazy people.

- Loud people.

- Drunk people going/gone berserk.

- The fact that Art Wolfe's pictures are so expensive.

- Assholes.

- Rapes/Sexual assault.

- Bombs.

- The fact that I cannot afford a DSLR.

---------

I like:

- Lying in bed, watching tv/playing video games.

- Doing nothing at all.

- Eating food cooked by someone else.

- Music.

- The Office.

- Driving around without knowing where I am really going.

- Hayao Miyazaki.

- My friends.

- Barack Obama.

- Myself.

- R.E.M.

- Art Wolfe.

Cooking..

I have noticed that I have started procrastinating when it comes to cooking. I think I am slowly losing interest. The thought of just cooking food for myself tires me. There was a time when I used to start cooking food for myself at 7PM sharp. Now I don't cook for days, and when I do, I just prepare something and eat it. I am actually cooking right now, and I see that my partially cooked food has something missing - genuine efforts I guess.

Another indication of me losing interest in cooking is the fact that I have stopped using onions, because I feel that chopping onions require too much time and energy. I just heat up a little oil and dump whatever I have in it. I of course add spices and all that jazz, but still the final outcome is not what I expect it to be.

I have sometimes also wished that I had someone who would cook food for me. A robot, perhaps.

I just hope I gain my interest back.

Do I Need Change?

So I just realized that it is way easier to parallel park when you are drunk.

I just got back from my friend's house. She had made Diwali dinner for a bunch of people. I was in a group in which just about everybody was atleast a Ph.D - very intimidating. For the first time I realized that just having a masters is not enough. And anyway, I have always believed that people who do their PhDs are just great. They deserve to be on a different planet - with their own kind of people. They could/should leave this small world for us mortal people. Well, I think I will never discuss this story again.

But a discussion about marriage with my friend and her husband over a few rum + cokes kind of left a deep impact in my brain.

My friend said that as human beings we constantly seek change. We cannot just keep doing something that we have been doing forever. I thought she was right because I think I am at that stage where I would enjoy somebody's company. I am not referring to a potential girlfriend or wife, but perhaps a social circle which would keep me busy and entertained. People usually ask me about my marriage plans and I tell them that I would probably wait for another two years. I know for a fact that all the pretty girls have been married, but I think at this age, I should look at how beautiful a woman is from the inside. Beauty, after all, is only skin deep.

No, sorry, that's bull crap. I would still want a pretty girl when I decide to get married.

Anyway, I came back home and decided to blog. I started writing my post but stopped in the middle because my head was spinning really bad, and I wanted to sleep. It was three in the morning afterall.

I got up this morning, totally hungover, and suddenly last night's discussion popped into my mind from somewhere.

I laughed out loud. And I am still laughing.

Ass..

So traditionally I make a fool of myself whenever I go to a Hindu temple, and this time was no exception. 

Last friday I went to this Hindu temple around 30 miles from Ames to get Pooja done for something new I bought. When I entered the temple I noticed that the Panditji was about to start a Pooja for someone else. So I also decided to stand there with folded hands, knowing that my Pooja would not be done that day, and that I would have to come back some other time. Anyway, Panditji started the Pooja, and there were around 10 of us. To be honest (sorry God!) I get very bored during Poojas that last more than 15 minutes. So after 15 minutes I totally lost my focus and started looking at all the idols inside the temple. I was also thinking of blogging about the entire situation too. I was in a different world. That is when I noticed that Panditji was asking each one of us our names and our gotras. I instantly knew that the time had come to embarass myself. I vaguely remembered that my mom once told me that my gotra is haritsa. But somehow I was not very sure. I kind of convinced myself that it was not haritsa. Panditji came to me and asked me my name first. I said Venkat. Then he said, "Which Gotra?". I blurted out "Haritsa" and immediately I said, "I don't know". Panditji gave me a weird stare. I said Haritsa again, and Panditji started chanting shlokas in sanskrit. By now I was very much convinced that my gotra was not haritsa. There I was, standing and thinking that the Pooja would have no effect on me whatsoever because of the wrong gotra.

So now two things were happening to me. Firstly, I felt like a complete idiot. I, a 28 year old guy, did not know his gotra, and by saying "I don't know" in front of 9 other people, I made a complete fool of myself. Secondly, I lost my focus again. I started thinking about food, the rain outside, the people inside and what not. 

I usually dont care when I make a fool of myself because it has become a way of life, but this time was different. I strongly felt that I should have atleast known my gotra for God's sake. And also, there are so many other things in life that I cannot ignore/avoid anymore. I thought to myself that I should start behaving myself, and that I should take life more seriously. I cannot just keep having fun all the time.

But two days later I was like - screw it. I am not going to kill myself thinking about just about every minor thing in life. 

I know for a fact that I am as stubborn as a mule. I don't think I would ever change.

OK Computer...

Have been listening to a lot of Radiohead - at work, and I think I have found the missing link.

When I heard Kid A in 2000, I was totally shocked. I really could not believe that Kid A was a Radiohead album. It was difficult for me to grasp the weirdness in that album. I must mention that I had not heard OK Computer, and between 95 and 2000 I kept tripping on The Bends and assumed that OK Computer was more or less like The Bends, which, I would say, was alternativish, if not very.

But I really could not understand how Radiohead transformed themselves from a regular "guitar based" band in Pablo Honey and The Bends to an electronic, or as I like to say, "different and unusual sounds" band in Kid A.

Until I heard OK Computer.

So basically, It all started with OK Computer - the weirdness, and the unusualness. OK Computer has some great "guitar based" songs like Paranoid Android and Karma Police, but the rest of the songs are totally different, and unusual. I listen to OK Computer everyday, and like it a lot. Now when I listen to Kid A, I feel alright. I am not confused and disillusioned anymore.

No wonder Radiohead is one of the greatest bands in the world.

I Love Her..I Love Her Not

Yesterday was perhaps the first saturday when I sat at home the entire day (well, I did go out to get myself a Subway sandwich). Since I had to kill time somehow, I decided to watch movies, and ended up watching four.

The movies I watched were Kamikaze Girls, Enemy At The Gates, National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, and Amelie.

And then I fell in love.

Some of you may not know but I have a thing for girls with short hair - I find them cute. I go absolutely crazy when I see a girl like that. My brain goes for a holiday, and my heart starts to smile. The damage is doubled if the girl has a very very cute smile...just like Amelie.

Watching Amelie was deja vu all over again. I was in a similar situation 10 years ago - when I had fallen in love with Meg Ryan. Internet in those days was a new and expensive concept, and every month I ran up my telephone bill high, downloading pictures of Meg Ryan. My dad always got mad, but then I was pretty sure that I would have gotten slapped if I had told my dad how much I loved Meg.

So well, the same thing happened last night. I totally fell in love with Amelie, and throughout the movie I could not help wondering how cute she was, and that what would I have to do to get a girl like her. I kind of swallowed my pride for a moment and decided to hunt for a girl like her. Life can be a blessing if spent with a girl like Amelie, I thought. Her presence would bring a smile to my face, I thought. Spending the rest of my life with such a pretty yet sensible girl would make my existence worthwhile, I thought.

The movie ended,...

..and I finished my third beer and slept.

I got up this morning at 11:30, and smiled. The effect of last night's beer had totally vanished from my body, and here I was wondering if I could have gotten up at 11:30 if I were married. The answer was clearly no. I thanked God for my singlehood, made myself a cup of tea, and spent of the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing.

Is This What You Think?

Little Sister blog saw a lot of action in the last few days, and would (hopefully) continue to see more action in the future. Manoj and Kd volunteered to contribute to the blog - and they have already posted some very nice pictures with captions that would perhaps help you understand life better. Okay, gross exaggeration here, but that's the concept behind Little Sister blog - to capture simple, weird, exaggerated, difficult, complex, beautiful, dramatic, subtle, and whatever concepts of life and describe them in our own words. This idea can either be appreciated or ridiculed - doesn't really matter. But what matters is that we all have different thought processes. What comes to your mind after looking at a picture may be completely different than what comes to my mind. You can either appreciate my perspective towards life, or ridicule it totally. But again, the message to be conveyed here is - we don't think alike.

Learning To Fly

BEFORE YOU READ: This is perhaps the longest post i have ever written. Please be patient :).

I always think about blogging about my "flying" experiences - what I go through/observe/experience when I take a flight and go somewhere. But thanks to procrastrination and ennui, I never write anything about them because usually there is so much to write. Just the thought of writing a lot tires me, and eventually the idea of sharing my amazing experiences, if you will, is abandoned - shamelessly.

But this time is different. I am determined to write about my trip last week to Niagara Falls. I have already started this post, and hope to finish it. This post may look like a chapter from a fiction novel simply because it's going to be so long. So my dear readers, please read this with a soda and popcorn in your hands. I am not promising entertainment, but I have observed that munching something while reading usually makes the process a lot less painful and a lot more entertaining.

My mom's friend had come to Baltimore to visit my sister, and since she was on the east coast, she thought she could fulfill her lifelong dream of going to see the Niagara Falls. My sister volunteered to take here there. She asked me to join them too, which I did. I flew from Des Moines to Baltimore last thursday. From there, we were to drive all the way to the falls and back.

Andrew, like always, was nice and kind enough to give me a ride to the Des Moines airport.

I checked in my bag, and moved towards security to find out that within the next few minutes, I would experience the most fun security check in my life, ever. The TSA guards were joking with me and each other, and they all smiled, which of course, is very unusual. I must say that it was perhaps the most laidback security check I have ever witnessed in this country. I remember the security check at the Bloomington airport being stricter than this.

Anyway, there was still like an hour left to board, and I was hungry too, so I grabbed a southwest chicken sandwich. Now, whenever I travel, I tend to overstuff myself with food. This time was no exception either. The sandwich actually was pretty big. But something inside me made me think that just that would not be enough. So I bought fries. And soda. I sat down, eating my stuff and reading "Grab On To Me Tightly As If I Knew The Way" which I had borrowed from the library just the previous day. Within a few minutes, I knew that the fries was a big mistake. But I usually don't waste food, so I kept munching away to glory.

The aircraft that was to take us from Des Moines to Chicago was one of the smaller ones - narrow and pointed, which is good enough to be a private jet but bad enough to carry like 50-60 passengers. The flight took off on time. I was still reading my book, and by the 20th page I knew what to expect in the coming 200 or so pages - utter American teenage nonsense. I dozed off, without even bothering to get my free soda and pretzels.

I woke up just in time. The plane was to land in the next 20 minutes or so. I was glad I slept because usually I cannot. The plane landed and I made my way to the gate from where I was to catch my flight to Baltimore. When I got inside the aircraft, I opened my nonsensical book and started reading it again, just for the heck of it. Within a few minutes a desi guy came and sat next to me. I could tell that he was really nice - more so because he tried to start a conversation with me which went something like this:

Guy: Hi!

Me: Hello there!

Guy: How are you?

Me: Good, how are you?

Guy: Very good, thanks.

Then, like an ass, I continued to read my book. I knew the guy wanted to chit-chat, but I simply ignored him.

I had suddenly turned anti-social.

To be honest, I am usually nice to other people. Really nice. But this time around I don't know what happened. I totally snubbed him. I didn't like it, but I think I was tired, and I was reading that Godforsaken book. I guess I didn't want to be disturbed.

About 40 minutes before landing, the pilot announced that a tornado was following us from North Carolina, and that hopefully we would be able to beat it to avoid the excessive rain that a stupid tornado brings. That is when the guy started looking out of the window and said something about the weather. I replied back, but since I was in my anti-social mode, I said something that was perhaps not interesting enough to maintain the longevity of our conversation. The guy then started talking to the lady on his right, and I overheard him saying that he was coming from Oregon. That is when I did a 360 and turned totally friendly and nice. I told him how I always wanted to go see Oregon, and how the air tickets are always so expensive (the last time I checked, it was $600 for the memorial day weekend :(( ). The lady, who was coming from Wisconsin, told me that I should definitely go to Oregon, and that it is very very beautiful. She also told me that I should drive on highway 101 to enjoy my Oregon experience to the fullest. I said I will.

The three of us started talking non stop, and after a while I got to know that the guy was originally from Pakistan, now a Canadian citizen (based in Toronto), and currently living in Baltimore with his family.

I told them I was from India.

The flight landed on time, but we were a little late in beating the tornado. Well, the tornado did not come to the Baltimore area, but it was raining like crazy out there because of which our luggage were not taken out of the aircraft for like 45 minutes. When I finally got my bag I got out of the airport and got in my sister's car. Our aunt had also come. I said namaste to her. Our chit-chat started and we drove away.

I was to come back to Des Moines last sunday, and my flight was at 7:30 in the evening. Our aunt was also going to Kentucky that very day. Her flight was in the morning, though. We took her to the airport, and I went in with her to help her check in.

That is when I got to know about a crazy Southwest concept.

Apparently, the last 15 boarding passes are not given at the check in counter - they are given at the gate. So basically, if you are late, you have to run to the gate. If somebody else gets there before you do, then you can kiss your flight good bye - doesn't matter if you have a confirmed ticket or not.

We were in a similar situation. My aunt did not get her boaarding pass. The lady at the check in counter asked me to go with her, in case my aunt had communication problems. She gave me a pass that would let me go through security without a boarding pass. We both went through security and reached the gate. Apparently, there was no else to claim one of the last 15 passes, so we were safe. The guy gave my aunt her boarding pass that she deserved. We waited for a little while. When boarding started, I touched her feet, bid her goodbye, and came out of the airport.

Then my sister and I went shopping.

When we came back at around 5:00 PM, I decided to check the status of my flight. Usually, I don't do it. In fact, I have never checked my flight status the day I am suppposed to catch it. I just show up at the airport assuming that the flight would be on time.

But for some odd reason, I checked the status online. This time. And this is what I saw:

Flight 327: Baltimore to Chicago

Status: Cancelled

Reason: -

I have experienced many delayed flights in my life. But cancelled? What in the world is that?

I could not believe it. Who would have thought that it would ever happen to me? Bad things happen to other people, don't they?

But here I was - facing the bitter truth. I was victimized. I felt so molested. Suddenly the world seemed very unfair, and I was still in shock.

I called customer care. I spoke to Richard about my situation. Now obviously Richard was sitting in India, but I did not have the time and energy to chit-chat about that. He told me that there is a flight from Dulles airport in Virginia at 7:41, and that I should try to catch it.

Current time : 5:15.

Time it takes to reach there: 1:30 hours.

We immediately left. My sister decided to speed (she loves it) , but as luck would have it, it started to rain. And then there was a traffic jam. And then I called customer care again, and spoke to Archie. I told her that I am stuck and that I might not be able to make it. She was very nice and patient. She said no problem, and put me on the next flight from Dulles -at 6:00 AM next day, on standby that is. Since we were stuck already, I decided to chat with her informally. I asked her if she was in Delhi. She said she was. I told her that I was from Delhi too. I then asked her her real name. She said Aarti. I then asked her where she lived. She said South Ex. She then said that it is always a pleasure to talk to Indian customers. I said thank you. I also told her that she was very kind and helpful.

We reached Dulles at 7:20. I went to United's check in counter where I met another very very nice lady. I explained my situation to her, and she did whatever she could to help me out. Apparently, it was too late to board the aircraft, but she gave me a pass that would let me pass through security. I thanked her and told her that she was the best. Another lady standing next to her said, "Yes, she is". We all laughed.

Then I ran.

The guy at security looked at the time on my boarding pass, then looked at me, smiled, and said sarcastically, "You are a little too early for your flight". I said I know. I made it through security, ran towards the gate only to find out that boarding was over and that they had shut the gate. The aircraft was still there - it had not taken off. But I could not board it.

That was the perfect time to use my favorite quote coined by yours truly - "I know how good my bad luck is".

I was to take the 6AM flight now. I told my sister to go back home, and that I would spend the night at the airport.

I was hungry. I went to a store where they had chawal chole! It was frozen, but the Japanese lady behind the counter offered to heat it up for me. I then went to another store to buy chips where the desi owner was busy flirting with a desi customer girl. He looked at me and asked his sidekick/flunky to see what I wanted.

I bought the chips and found a spot where I could charge my phone. Thank God I had my phone charger in my back pack. I sat on the floor and ate my food.

After a "heavy" meal, i decided to sleep. I lay down on the floor, with my back pack doubling up as my pillow. I tried to sleep, but the floor was so dang cold, that I was almost shivering. I decided to get the security check done so that I could sleep on one of those longer seats at the gate. I went to security only to be told that I should come back after midnight. It was 10:20.

I then went to Arrivals. Walked around and looked around. There were many flights coming in - both domestic and international. I loitered around for some time, then went to Departures to try to sleep again.

I did.

Try, that is.

Around 1:00 I got my security check done. I was actually the only one, so there was no rush. I asked one of the TSA guys about a good place to take a nap. The guy was very nice (Peurto Rican). He told me that I should go to Terminal D instead of C because D is much more warmer :). I thanked him and started walking towards D. Luckily my flight was from D too, so that kind of made me smile.

I reached my gate, found a long seat, and slept. For around 3 hours. I am pretty sure I snored.

When I got up at around 4:30, I was surprised to see so many people for a 6 o' clock flight. There was another Indian guy. He told me that he was in a similar situation - missed his flight the previous night and all that jazz. We spoke for a while and then boarded the same flight.

Awesome flight. Slept throughout.

In the flight to Des Moines, read around 80 pages of that idiotic book again.

And of course, Andrew was at the airport to receive me. We took my luggage, went to eat breakfast at Perkins (hadn't had American breakfast in a while :)) which was awesome, and then reported to work.

China

The entire National Geographic Magazine's May 2008 issue is dedicated to China - it's history, culture, people, development. There are just so many beautiful pictures inside the issue, and every picture would make you go visit China all the more.

We know that the entire world talks about India and China - the economic boom, the tremendous development, GDP touching new heights and what not, and the latest issue of NGM actually shows all this happening - in pictures. The land of Dragons is slowly turning into a land of some really creative and well designed buildings that add to the scenic beauty (you have to see it to believe it) of the cities those buildings are located in. And of course, the Olympics just around the corner is making sure that their architecture stuns the entire world. Also, just like India, housing is on a rampage in China. New houses are being constructed like crazy. People drink this particular $12 drink in bars that is "on fire". Rich women don't have to go to Europe anymore to shop for their favorite dresses - everything is now available in their own country. Somewhere around 60% of first time car owners in recent years bought their cars in cash!

Huge development means the presence of MNCs, which in turn means an increasing number of expats from all over the world. This also means inter-racial marriages which seems like a fairly new concept in China. However, women are overall happy because they have "more choices" now! :)

Photographs flicked from http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/

Flash To The Power of n

This morning I woke up to my ridiculously hideous fire alarm like sounding phone alarm. At first I could not understand the situation simply because I am used to getting up to a nicer sounding radio clock alarm that goes off four minutes earlier. I did get up to switch it off but instantly got lost trying to determine what might have gone wrong with my radio clock alarms (ya, two of 'em). I looked at one of the alarm clock and saw the digits flashing. That is when I realized that there was a power outage last night, and that all the clocks have been reset. I looked at the other clock - same thing. I said "what the hell" to myself and continued with the daily painful, forgetful act of getting ready to go to work.

I came back in the evening, watched some TV and came in to my bedroom to switch on my computer. That is when I saw those flashing digits on my radio clock again that reminded me of the entire "getting up to the weirdest alarm sound" encounter. I was lazy enough not to set the time on both the clocks and that is the reason why I am so annoyed right now. One clock is almost in front of me, just a little to the left. Now them flashing numbers are hurting my eyes. They are not directly in my line of vision, but I can still see them do the new age phoenix repeatedly from the corner of my left eye. The non stop flashing is making me think of an SOS call of a sinking ship going horribly wrong.

The situation I am in right now is worse than the one in which you are with a girl who seeks constant attention. I want to get rid of it but I can't , because it's happening right in front of me. I can make it stop but I won't because I am too lazy. It's like I know I am getting fatter by the day but I still won't go exercise (figuratively speaking, okay?). It's like I know I am damn hungry but still won't eat at my relative's house because I am shy (figuratively speaking, okay?).

laziness has become a way of life. Sometimes I wonder if my children would be so lazy too.

Help me God.

All I Want Is....

I was talking to this friend of mine about how I have failed miserably - as a boyfriend. I have had quite a few encounters, however something somewhere goes terribly wrong. Consistency is absent, and commitment - it always flies out of the window. My friend also agreed that it has been like that with her too. Things go wrong when she thought everything was just fine.

So we were discussing our relationships gone sour when another friend of mine emails me about her wedding in July. Her fiance and she have made a website, which has stories of how they met, their personalities, pictures of them together and what not. And of course, Barry Louis Polisar's All I Want Is You played in the background, which reminded me of Juno. Also, the song is so beautiful that it makes you feel like eloping with your (in my case non-existent) girlfriend as soon as possible.

How ironic.

But of course, singlehood is bliss too. It has it's own advantages, and honestly, I am having a ball of a time. Over the years I have realized that the flaws are in me. I am to be blamed. And that I am not fit for a relationship that demands committment.

I will not ruin somebody else's life.

Funny, Isn't It?

I have realized that I cannot watch just about any comedy movie. It has to have that element that would make me laugh my lungs out.

I guess there is a variety of comedy movies. One - that is cheap to the bone and is outrageously ridiculous. Two - subtle, intelligent humor which involves a small, creative effort that results in a big imact. Three - Romantic comedies - romance to the power of n with a few "funny" things thrown in to make you chuckle. Finally, "based on true story" comedies - the ones in which the protagonist is a loser, and everything he does goes wrong (read Adam Sandler variety) which apparently is funny for some reason(ever noticed that the losers in such movies are usually men).

I really like type one and two. These are the ones that make me laugh the hardest. I can watch such movies every day and every night. Type three is a big no no. As I said, I watch comedy movies to laugh or to atleast maintain a constant grin on my face throughout the movie. I don't want to chuckle. I can't watch a hundred minutes movie to just smile on the cute things the couple indulges in. And of course, an interesting fact - All these movies start with the girl hating the guy. In the end, however, they kiss, and sometimes even marry. Life is so beautiful. Romance 24 X 7 is what it's all about.

Type four - silly. So silly that it's not even funny. This movie usually does not have a good storyline, and is forgotten within weeks of its big bang release. No wonder such movies don't win Oscars. I have tried to watch such movies, but fail to finish them. No, I don't fall asleep. I just pull the disc out of in anger and disgust, cursing myself for bringing such a nimrodic movie. I then slam a beer to get rid of the pain.

Oh yes, I also like movies in which the F word is superoverused, like atleast twice in one dialog. If you have watched Coffee and Cigarettes (scene 4 - "Those things'll kill ya" ) then you know what I am talking about.

To Bathe Or Not To Bathe

Every saturday afternoon (not morning), when I am taking a shower, a thought comes to my mind - Why is bathing a necessity? Why cannot it be a hobby, or an activity?

This thought comes to me only on saturdays because that is the only day when I bathe with no worries - of getting late to work, etc. I just stand under the shower - and sink into oblivion. I must confess that I thoroughly enjoy the process..only on a saturday, that is. So again, why is it a necessity? Why can't I just wash my face, brush my teeth every morning and just go to work, without bothering too much about body odour and all that nonsense?

*sigh*.

Hair Cut

I have not had a hair cut in 3 months. I am trying to grow my hair, and I really want to see how much more can my hair make people scream in disgust and agony. I look shabby already, and to be honest, I really don't know how to take care of my hair. I do use shampoo and conditioner fairly regularly, but that's it. I don't know any other magic trick that would make me look like Zoolander.

I usually get a haircut every month, or perhaps one and a half months.

Today, however, I thought that it's really not such a good idea, and decided to get a hair cut. I have a job now, and I really cannot afford to look like a hippy - my officemates would start despising me. So I bathed, shaved, dressed up and got out of my apartment. It was a little cloudy and windy, but nice overall. I reached Main Street where I checked out six different salons, one by one.. - all fudging closed! Can you believe it? Not even one was open. All closed! Now the people that run those salons should realize that their are some businesses (like theirs) that thrive only or mostly on the weekends. So those involved in such businesses cannot afford to shut down on saturdays and sundays. That's utter foolishness. If they were cutting hair for free then it would have been a completely different issue. But no, they charge you 12 - 15 bucks, and they want you to go to them at their convenience - not yours.

How in the world is that supposed to make life comfortable (mine, not theirs)?

Have We Met Before?

Have you ever wondered what your childhood friends are doing? Where they are, how they are? Are they married? Do they have kids already? Are they happy?

The reason I ask this is because many of us cherish the time well spent with all the wonderful friends we had when we were little kids, but somehow lost contact with them because they either changed their school, their family moved to a different place, or something else happened.

I have always appreciated the presence of my friends in my life, and like all of us, lost touch with them when I was growing up.

However, thanks to Web 2.0 and social networking, I found most of my long lost school friends after 18 fudging years!! How many? Let me count - seven! I am still on the lookout for a few more, but its okay, I atleast found some of them :).

I spoke to two of them over the phone recently. It was an amazing feeling! Of course, their voices have changed. They sound very very matured. They throw in a hint of sophistication when they talk, yet they are very down to earth. They have their own issues in life, but they walk unafraid and face whatever that bumps into them. Surprisingly, six of them are still unmarried - one would tie the knot this year though.

Two are sitting in Dublin, Ireland (student, nurse), one is in Baltimore, US (doctor [MD]), and the rest of them are in Bangalore (manager, maintenance engineer in the Indian Air Force) and New Delhi, India (service industry).

After talking to them, I want to meet all of them now. I want to see those lovely faces, share my experiences with them, and bring joy to them.

I hope I get to meet them, and if everything goes well, I will be able to meet them. Distance is an obstacle, but I think it would be easily tackled by my determination to see them.

It's a small world afterall, isn't it?