Friday, February 13, 2009

A Messed Up World

"I have seen a lot - more than you can imagine. I find myself dealing with tough situations all the time. For me, the sky has never been blue. The air has never been fresh. My life smells like rancid milk. But I perhaps shouldn't complain too much, because things are getting better. Slightly.

I like my work. I enjoy going to my office everyday. I have made some really good friends at my workplace, and I cherish their friendship. My life has been tough right from the beginning, but I have started to enjoy it. At least that is what I would like to claim, and for that I thank the bunch of dear friends I have. I have started to believe that life is beautiful.

But perhaps I am one of those who can never be happy. I mean, I am not supposed to be.

I was sexually assaulted by someone I know very well today. Just because I am a woman and just because I had a few drinks with him made him think that he could do anything. With Me.
To me.

My life is shattered. I am disappointed. I can't tell anyone about it, and I don't want to take this secret to my grave. I want justice but don't know where to get it. I want justice but don't know how to get it. I want happiness but don't see it anywhere in vicinity. I want happiness but by now I am pretty sure it is not meant for me.

Misery is my best friend, and that doesn't make me too happy.

Did someone say I can buy happiness? I am sure they will run out of it by the time I reach the store.

This is something I can't forget for the rest of my life. A scar has been made on my body that will never go away. I am an educated and independent woman, but still very susceptible to exploitation by evil men.

I just hope this incident would not bother me too much. I have cried enough, and now I want to live my life with my head and chin held up high. I know I am a strong woman, but if this happens again, I honestly wouldn't know what to do."

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