Babies

After watching Multiplicity last night, I thought to myself - Why doesn't somebody mass produce babies and sell them at  stores so that we could just go and pick one (fair skinned babies would be a huge hit with Indian parents!). The babies should come with certain features though - they  should never get hungry, never cry ( hate it when they cry in supermarkets and airplanes), and perhaps never grow up (some people complain that they loved their kids so much when they were little). 

I love babies, but not sure if I can handle one of my own. I would rather have a dog. Or a spider. Even a fairly sophisticated robot would keep me entertained for years (Should recharge its own batteries though).

I Am A Football Expert Because I Update My Facebook Status Every 10 Seconds

There's one aspect of smart phones that I am not really liking these days, and that aspect is the Facebook app. Now don't get me wrong. I spend most of my time holding my phone or my iPod Touch and checking out Facebook updates. However, there is something that is kind of annoying me, and it will stop on the 11th of this month for sure (I hope).

We all love football, and the last three weeks or so have been extra special because of the World Cup. Now this is where my problem starts. It goes without saying that everybody (including the ones who have never played football passionately but have watched the Lipstick League on cable every year) is an "armchair expert" of this game. I don't mind that. We all have opinions, and we all make judgments. Nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is that all of those so called experts are updating their Facebook statuses every 10 minutes on their phones. 

"OMG! OMG!"

"Handball!"

"That was not a fair yellow"

"$&^k the referee"

..and the list goes on.

I know that there was a goal. I know somebody got a red card, and I freaking know that the referees are not doing a good job. What I don't know is why you all cannot just quietly watch the game and keep your excitement and emotions to yourself or the people around you? 

Being a Facebook junkie, I keep checking my Facebook all the time, and all I see are these insane statuses - every 5 - 10 minutes. The biggest mistake I make is when I comment on somebody's status (or even just Like it for that matter). I keep notification emails about the fifteen of my friend's friends who just commented on his status right after mine. The phone keeps beeping and when I check my email, all I see is "Asshole # 1 commented on your Assholic friend's status", "Asshole # 2 commented on the same Assholic friend's status", and so on.

I don't mind post match comments, but commenting every 5 minutes while the game is still in progress? Don't you understand that nobody gives a chhit about your updates? And also, don't you know that those updates are awfully annoying (yes they are, if you said no to that question)?

I know nobody cares about the emotional trauma I go through when I read those updates, but please, for the love of God, let me watch the games in peace. I am not complaining, I am just saying that I don't want my phone to keep beeping all the time during my game only to tell me that an armchair expert just made a comment about a yellow card. 

Enjoy the World Cup my awesome Facebook friends!