A Messed Up World

"I have seen a lot - more than you can imagine. I find myself dealing with tough situations all the time. For me, the sky has never been blue. The air has never been fresh. My life smells like rancid milk. But I perhaps shouldn't complain too much, because things are getting better. Slightly.

I like my work. I enjoy going to my office everyday. I have made some really good friends at my workplace, and I cherish their friendship. My life has been tough right from the beginning, but I have started to enjoy it. At least that is what I would like to claim, and for that I thank the bunch of dear friends I have. I have started to believe that life is beautiful.

But perhaps I am one of those who can never be happy. I mean, I am not supposed to be.

I was sexually assaulted by someone I know very well today. Just because I am a woman and just because I had a few drinks with him made him think that he could do anything. With Me.

To me.

My life is shattered. I am disappointed. I can't tell anyone about it, and I don't want to take this secret to my grave. I want justice but don't know where to get it. I want justice but don't know how to get it. I want happiness but don't see it anywhere in vicinity. I want happiness but by now I am pretty sure it is not meant for me.

Misery is my best friend, and that doesn't make me too happy.

Did someone say I can buy happiness? I am sure they will run out of it by the time I reach the store.

This is something I can't forget for the rest of my life. A scar has been made on my body that will never go away. I am an educated and independent woman, but still very susceptible to exploitation by evil men.

I just hope this incident would not bother me too much. I have cried enough, and now I want to live my life with my head and chin held up high. I know I am a strong woman, but if this happens again, I honestly wouldn't know what to do."

I Promise I Will Eat Only At Home..

I am on a mission this month.

I am trying to see how good I am - at not eating outside. At all.

At the beginning of this month, I decided to give it a shot. Well, actually, there is a reason why I am doing it. Looking at all the layoffs happening around the world, I thought, "What if this happens to me one day?". Being a single guy I know that I have the liberty to eat outside whenever I want to. Not that I don't cook - I do, but if you read my previous posts, you would know that I am kind of getting tired of cooking everyday. Well, again, assuming that I get laid off in the near future, eating out frequently would not be such a good idea. So, I thought I would do a "dress rehearsal", if you will. I promised myself that I would not eat outside at all this entire month, and see how I take it. I am not trying to be frugal, or whatever, but I just want to see if I can do it or not.

So, on 1st February, I brought loads of grocery items, and decided to finish all the dals and other sundry stuff that's sitting in my kitchen cabinet for months before going again to the grocery store.

Today is day 6 of the month. I hope I keep my promise to myself.

Thank God it's not a leap year ;-).

Why Me?

I am just wondering why there is always a newspaper in one of the stalls in the bathroom when I just go to pee, but none when I go to crap? Don't I have the right to relax while crapping? Or was I born to live without privileges?