Good Riddance To..

A lot of people know about this blog now, thanks to that goddamn Blogger application that I installed on Facebook. I didn't like the fact that some assholes who did not know earlier that this blog existed were also reading it and commenting on the "notes". I always had the urge to write about random things that kept coming to my mind but stopped at the last moment because of the reason I just mentioned.

So I uninstalled that goddamned app.

If you are reading this "note" on Facebook then I did not write it.

A Lesson Unlearnt..

Andre now knows very well that he cannot learn lessons from the past. He has been through this before - three times to be precise, and every time, he had prayed to get out of it and had promised himself that he would never again get into a similar situation. That he would use his brains, and that he would not let his heart take any decisions.

But here he is, doing the same thing, going through the same thing. Cannot think about anything else, and cannot do anything else. Uncertainty is a part of the game, yet he always dives into it, knowing that he may be utterly disappointed in the end, or perhaps, right at the beginning. But there is something that keeps encouraging him, and provokes him to go forward. Something that gives him confidence and courage, something that keeps him moving. Something that puts words in his mouth, and something that doesn't stop him from expressing himself. 

It is not something normal, but rather weird. It doesn't happen to him very frequently, but when it does happen, it just makes him do crazy things. It makes him go and achieve it. It makes him give it everything he got, because he feels it is so beautiful.

He is going to do it again. We do not know what it has in store for him, but he will do it anyway. Just like always.

And no, he is not listening to his brain.

Andre's Adventure

I did not know what was in store for me. The sun was gone, and darkness had crept in. It did not come alone, though. It brought with it its friend and my nemesis - the wind. I still walked towards the orifice and got sucked in immediately. The moment of lightnessness ended in a few seconds, and I saw a dingy corridor. I walked a few steps and found myself right outside the power chamber. 

I entered the chamber and saw a red light emanating from the corner, which instantly vanished when I turned on my flashlight. I stood there and observed - snakes resting in a corner, books untouched and unread, grotesque art hanging on the wall, and a mirror powered by electrons. The mirror lit up when I touched it, and it showed me the map. 

I studied it for hours and realized that it had missing information. Suddenly I became nervous. I knew that the only way to get the missing information was to stare at it without blinking. 

When I stared at it for a  few minutes I noticed new lines developing on the map. I continued to stare, and the lines continued to develop. After a while I got tired. I decided to come back some other time to complete the map. I realized that the bovine army might discover and seal the orifice, but decided to take my chances anyway. I was completely drained.

I walked out of the power chamber to reach the orifice. I was sucked in again, only to be thrown out in the open. I walked up to my chariot, and climbed up. With the full moon shining on me, and a cool breeze slapping me in the face, I roamed the city in my worthy vehicle, like a satisfied man. 

Just Do It..

Oh wow.

Okay, I think I should quickly type something here and push the "Publish post" button before I get bored and save this post as a "draft" and just forget about it. February was a weird month - in terms of blogging, that is. I started many posts, but got bored writing them (in minutes) and never finished and posted any of them.

So, I started my day today (at 11) by looking out of my bedroom window and noticing how sunny and beautiful it was outside. After a while, made myself a few cups of tea, and bought some music on Amazon - not full length albums, but a few selected songs of Rabbi Shergill and The Dandy Warhols.

I have plans of going out to run. It really is very nice outside, and after a traumatic winter (like every year) , I would not let myself spend a day like today in the confinement of my dingy apartment. By the way, I always wanted a partner who would run/exercise with me but could never find one. But just this morning my sister told me that she has started exercising - for like 20 minutes everyday. Now, that was delightful news for me, and I too plan to exercise every (other?) day at home, and of course, run too. We'll see how that goes.

Today, for some reason, I am very relaxed. I think it's the weather outside. Like I said, I plan to go run sometime in the noon, and then go get a book from the library. Maybe I should get "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" again. I had brought it last month too, but had to return it without reading.

Okay, this post is good to go. I shall push the Publish Post button now.

I Promise I Will Eat Only At Home..

I am on a mission this month.

I am trying to see how good I am - at not eating outside. At all.

At the beginning of this month, I decided to give it a shot. Well, actually, there is a reason why I am doing it. Looking at all the layoffs happening around the world, I thought, "What if this happens to me one day?". Being a single guy I know that I have the liberty to eat outside whenever I want to. Not that I don't cook - I do, but if you read my previous posts, you would know that I am kind of getting tired of cooking everyday. Well, again, assuming that I get laid off in the near future, eating out frequently would not be such a good idea. So, I thought I would do a "dress rehearsal", if you will. I promised myself that I would not eat outside at all this entire month, and see how I take it. I am not trying to be frugal, or whatever, but I just want to see if I can do it or not.

So, on 1st February, I brought loads of grocery items, and decided to finish all the dals and other sundry stuff that's sitting in my kitchen cabinet for months before going again to the grocery store.

Today is day 6 of the month. I hope I keep my promise to myself.

Thank God it's not a leap year ;-).

Why Me?

I am just wondering why there is always a newspaper in one of the stalls in the bathroom when I just go to pee, but none when I go to crap? Don't I have the right to relax while crapping? Or was I born to live without privileges?

Not Again!

First there was "I am a Mac", and then came "I am a PC" (after Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates totally sucked ass on the pointless MS commercials). Now, there's "I am an IBMer". The IBM commercials, however, are not about making fun of the competition, but more about CSR and innovation in technology that would help the planet. It's kind of fun to watch these commercials, but when all the folks go "I am an IBMer", I go, "seriously?". I mean, couldn't they really come up with something truly unique, something that would make IBM stand out from the rest of them, and that would make an IBMer proud? Hearing them go "I am an IBMer" on TV just makes me think that Apple is indeed a great company for having started a trend (yet again). Cheers to Apple's creativity, and boo to IBM's "let's just use their's" tactic ( or the lack of effort in coming up with something really nice and IBMish). Or did IBM hire the same ad agency that made the "I am a Mac" commercial? Whatever the case may be, the new IBM commercials are cool, but "I am an IBMer" somehow sounds a little lame.

Btw, Circuit City going out of business was a total shock to me. The company shut down overnight, and immediately released majority of its 34,000 workforce.

Bizarre.

So Long, vsrao!

"Our records indicate you have left Illinois State University. You will lose electronic access in 1 days as described below.If you are a student, register for at least one class before January 15th, 2009 to avoid losing electronic access.On January 15th, 2009, your ilstu.edu email account will be permanently removed. If you have an email forward set up, it will stop forwarding your email on this date.On January 15th, 2009, your ULID account will be permanently removed, and you will lose access to all ULID services, such as email, iCampus, Datastore01, Milner Library, etc.For more information, refer to . You may deactivate your ULID account before January 15th, 2009 by going to .Questions about this message may be directed to the University Computer Help Desk at 309-438-HELP (4357).Thank you,Computer Infrastructure Support Services"

My last link with Illinois State would break tomorrow. The Ulid vsrao would be permanently disabled, and my ilstu identity would cease to exist.

I am sad.

Wrongness in the Right..

I think I am at that stage of my life where I have to explain to everyone about why I am the way I am. Explanations were not really a part of my life around a few years ago because I was surrounded by people who knew me inside out, and vice versa. Living with roommates also was not really a problem because in three years even they got a general idea of what I was. But now I am surrounded by people who I don't know very well, and when I do or propose to do something - they question. They either ask "why" questions, or they think that I shouldn't be doing what I plan to do at all. Some of them think that I am a really sweet guy (which I guess I am, to some extent), but I always have to tell them that in my younger days I have had my share of fun. I have done a few extreme things that I am not really proud of, but I am not ashamed of them either. Indulging in such things is a part of growing up after all.

So anyway, justifying my actions is slowly becoming a way of life, which to be honest, is annoying. I sometimes miss my friends a lot, simply because I am sure I would have been a totally different person (my usual self, if you will) if they were around me.

I have mellowed down a lot (I think) which is perhaps both good and bad. Good because it suits my age, and bad because I don't want it to suit my age. I want to be a wild animal like before, but miss the people who would help me become one.

I want catalysts who would bring my wild self back to life.

Really?

After installing the "Subscribe to" gadget, a thought came to my mind - who in this world would want to subscribe to my posts?

I mean I know that my blog has some regular readers who read the posts and sometimes even comment. There are also those secret admirers who read my blog on a regular (?) basis but never post comments. But seriously, who on this planet would want to read my posts as soon as I post them? Who are those eager creatures who are dying to know about my life, thoughts, existence, and all that jazz? Because in all honesty, what I write about is nothing but shit (for lack of a better word). I just think that this gadget would never be used.

However, I would take this opportunity to thank everyone who reads this blog. To all the secret admirers - I don't expect you to post comments. As a matter of fact, I don't expect anyone to post comments on this blog. This blog is only for your reading pleasure. A mere mention of my posts in parties or drinking sessions is proof enough that I do an okay job.

Once again, thank you to all. You get my mojo going :-).

Don't Do It Again..Please

Confession.

I really hate it when people say "Welcome to the club". To be more specific - whenever I do/ buy something I tell people about it. If those people have already done/ bought it they say " welcome to the club". They usually have a smile on their face that tries to convey a certain message which goes something like, "hey, you know what, you did what I had done a long time ago, and your life would have been totally incomplete if you hadn't done what you just did."

I don't care about the message being conveyed, but the phrase annoys me - annoys me so much that I almost make an ugly face when somebody says it. In my mind I say WTF? to myself, but keep quiet. No I don't keep quiet. For some strange reason I say "thank you" to the other person (WTF, right?). And then I smile. I don't let the annoyance brewing inside me show on my face. I just decide not to offend the other person.

If you really want to use that phrase on me, use it when I really join a club that you are already a member of. Please don't otherwise. Please.

I hate it.

Another phrase that totally annoys me is "believe you me". I go "WTF?" every time someone says it. It doesn't make sense at all. If someone asks my name, do you think I would say "My is name Venkat"? I am sure you said no to that.

So all you nice people out there - if your friend does/ buys something that you already have - don't annoy them. Don't try to welcome them to a non existent club that only you are a member of. Say "Oh how nice!" or "Cool!" or "Attboy/girl" instead.

Thank you.

I just added a few "gadgets" here to make you wait a little more for this page to load. See if you like them.

Plan A Update

Update:

I think Plan A was a success.

Details:

Side View:

Viewer View:

TV View:
To Be Viewed View: Empty Stomach View:

Blogging: The ultimate Internet based anti-boredom tool.

Oh God! Please give me the strength to do my laundry tomorrow!!!

...Ah! But I digress..

Plan A

Okay, I have a very ambitious plan for tonight. Since I cannot go out (not that I do every saturday night), I decided to cook good food (I am cooking chinese style fried rice. I also have egg nog) for myself, bring my tv and xbox in my bedroom and watch movies while lying in bed. I also plan to clean my bedroom to get a 5 starish room feel.

Let's see how everything goes.

*Wide grin*.

Supply Chain Gone Wrong Or Just Indifference?

In grad school we read so many case studies and articles about how amazing and powerful Wal-mart's supply chain is, with the real cool satellite links and sophisticated tracking systems and what not. I knew for a fact that the case studies were fairly accurate not because I never found anything missing in a Wal-Mart store, but because I always saw so many Wal-Mart semis on city roads and highways. Of course, there are so many of those always parked in the unloading zone of every store.

But lately, I have seen that they don't have stuff available - stuff that I really want. Last week, whenever I went to the Wal-Mart in my town to get green chillies, they didn't have it. I went there around 3 times. They didn't have it. I once went to the store in the morning to get my breakfast, and the presence of those freshly sprinkled peppers made me smile. I thought to myself that I would buy them on my way back home in the evening. I went to the store in the evening - they didn't have it! )

I wanted ginger yesterday (dry cough sucks!). I went to the store and did not find it. I even asked an associate, and she pointed me to a certain area and said that I would find ginger there. I told her that I have already looked there.

"Then we don't have it".

Seriously?

For two weeks I have been trying to get wheat tortillas at Wal-Mart. I just cannot find them. They have all kinds of tortillas - tomato basil, spinach, four flour, and what not. But wheat - no sir.

Whenever I don't find anything in a Wal-Mart store, I think of the articles I read in school, and then I go - "No, this can't be really happening". But the only problem is that it really is. Are the satellites hibernating? Is the tracking system malfunctioning? Or am I just over reacting to the absence of veggies in the store?

If I go tell one of them authors from HBR or Business Week or whatever about my experiences, would they believe me? I am sure I will be a tiny little dot on the graph far far away from the others, and they would outlie me. Perhaps, they would not even believe me in the first place.

But it's just sad to see things not available in my favorite store.

*sigh*

Oh Gawd!!

This post may gross you out a bit.

After so many years, I puked like crazy. Yes sir, friday night. I went to a bar friday night with a couple of friends, got totally hammered and did not even realize it. I was totally okay when I was inside the bar. But once we got out and sat in the car, my head started spinning. I still could not anticipate catastrophe, because I end up with a spinning head almost every friday and saturday anyway. But deep down inside I knew something was not right, that is why I did not even bother to go take my car which was parked at my friend's place. I got back home, took my shoes and pants off, and crashed out. Within minutes I could feel stuff coming out. Usually I try to hold it in my mouth and swallow it back, but only this time the volume and pressure of the stuff was way too much for me to handle.

So I let the stuff come out. And hence, I technically puked.

Of course, once this process starts, it goes through multiple cycles. So I puked again. But only this time, I rushed to the bathroom. What I did not realize was that my room was a dirty mess, with my stuff (read clothes) lying around everywhere. So I pretty much puked on my clothes before I downloaded the remaining puke in the wash basin.

When I got up the next morning, I almost cried. My eyes could not see and believe the mass destruction I had caused the previous night. The entire episode flashed in front of my eyes in a few seconds. And oh yeah, my head was screaming with pain and disgust. I followed the "bread crumbs" to my bathroom and saw that there was puke around the wash basin too. Then the thought of what I did (that I always do when I go get drunk at a bar) grossed me out. I have a tendency of overtipping the bartender whenever I go to a bar, and I realized that I had tipped the guy 50% . Like always, it hurt. But the sight of puke lying everywhere hurt me more.

My friend picked me up soon so that I could go to his place and take my car. Take my car I did, and went to Hy-vee to buy a carpet cleaner and some food. I came back home, watched a movie, and ate my food, my head still spinning like a crazy catherine wheel. After a while, I started scrubbing my carpet. Scrubbed like crazy and got the stains to "kind of" disappear. Did my laundry too.

I sulked the entire day - I did not really know what was happening and did not really know what to do. In the evening I went to the only Indian restaurant in town, got me some food, came back, ate it, and slept. At 10, which is totally bizarre.

I got up this morning and felt so much better, and the fact that I gained an hour made me jump with joy :D.

The last time I went on a puking rampage was in 2001.

Do I Need Change?

So I just realized that it is way easier to parallel park when you are drunk.

I just got back from my friend's house. She had made Diwali dinner for a bunch of people. I was in a group in which just about everybody was atleast a Ph.D - very intimidating. For the first time I realized that just having a masters is not enough. And anyway, I have always believed that people who do their PhDs are just great. They deserve to be on a different planet - with their own kind of people. They could/should leave this small world for us mortal people. Well, I think I will never discuss this story again.

But a discussion about marriage with my friend and her husband over a few rum + cokes kind of left a deep impact in my brain.

My friend said that as human beings we constantly seek change. We cannot just keep doing something that we have been doing forever. I thought she was right because I think I am at that stage where I would enjoy somebody's company. I am not referring to a potential girlfriend or wife, but perhaps a social circle which would keep me busy and entertained. People usually ask me about my marriage plans and I tell them that I would probably wait for another two years. I know for a fact that all the pretty girls have been married, but I think at this age, I should look at how beautiful a woman is from the inside. Beauty, after all, is only skin deep.

No, sorry, that's bull crap. I would still want a pretty girl when I decide to get married.

Anyway, I came back home and decided to blog. I started writing my post but stopped in the middle because my head was spinning really bad, and I wanted to sleep. It was three in the morning afterall.

I got up this morning, totally hungover, and suddenly last night's discussion popped into my mind from somewhere.

I laughed out loud. And I am still laughing.

It's Not The Couch, It's Not The Floor...It's Not Even The Sleeping Bag!

I am couch friendly. I am floor friendly. I am sleeping bag friendly.

These are the things I sleep on/in whenever I visit friends over weekends. But this weekend was a lot different - I got to sleep in a bed! A pretty big bed with 2 pillows and a comforter!! Seriously, it was a privilege, considering that I always carry my own pillow and comforter everywhere because my friends don't have extras.

Anyway, I am just looking forward to my trip to Dallas. Seeing the concert with Dr. sahab should be fun. I hope he has learnt the lyrics to all the songs by heart by now.

I had deer meat today. It was good.

Ass..

So traditionally I make a fool of myself whenever I go to a Hindu temple, and this time was no exception. 

Last friday I went to this Hindu temple around 30 miles from Ames to get Pooja done for something new I bought. When I entered the temple I noticed that the Panditji was about to start a Pooja for someone else. So I also decided to stand there with folded hands, knowing that my Pooja would not be done that day, and that I would have to come back some other time. Anyway, Panditji started the Pooja, and there were around 10 of us. To be honest (sorry God!) I get very bored during Poojas that last more than 15 minutes. So after 15 minutes I totally lost my focus and started looking at all the idols inside the temple. I was also thinking of blogging about the entire situation too. I was in a different world. That is when I noticed that Panditji was asking each one of us our names and our gotras. I instantly knew that the time had come to embarass myself. I vaguely remembered that my mom once told me that my gotra is haritsa. But somehow I was not very sure. I kind of convinced myself that it was not haritsa. Panditji came to me and asked me my name first. I said Venkat. Then he said, "Which Gotra?". I blurted out "Haritsa" and immediately I said, "I don't know". Panditji gave me a weird stare. I said Haritsa again, and Panditji started chanting shlokas in sanskrit. By now I was very much convinced that my gotra was not haritsa. There I was, standing and thinking that the Pooja would have no effect on me whatsoever because of the wrong gotra.

So now two things were happening to me. Firstly, I felt like a complete idiot. I, a 28 year old guy, did not know his gotra, and by saying "I don't know" in front of 9 other people, I made a complete fool of myself. Secondly, I lost my focus again. I started thinking about food, the rain outside, the people inside and what not. 

I usually dont care when I make a fool of myself because it has become a way of life, but this time was different. I strongly felt that I should have atleast known my gotra for God's sake. And also, there are so many other things in life that I cannot ignore/avoid anymore. I thought to myself that I should start behaving myself, and that I should take life more seriously. I cannot just keep having fun all the time.

But two days later I was like - screw it. I am not going to kill myself thinking about just about every minor thing in life. 

I know for a fact that I am as stubborn as a mule. I don't think I would ever change.

Missed Connections?

Lance Armstrong was in town, and I did not know. That was last month. He was in town to promote RAGBRAI. Apparently he does that every year. I got to know about it when I (over)heard two girls talking about it. I was in the mall buying birthday gifts for myself. I asked the girls if he would be in town the next day. They said they weren't sure.

Maybe I will get a chance to see him next year.

Totally missed Lollapalooza, and I hate myself for it. I had to miss it last year because I had an exam. I had to miss it this year because I had to move into my new apartment. Hate it!

So basically I missed NIN and Radiohead. Fuck.

NIN came to Minneapolis too. Couldn't go because of the same reason - moving.

:-(