Ass..

So traditionally I make a fool of myself whenever I go to a Hindu temple, and this time was no exception. 

Last friday I went to this Hindu temple around 30 miles from Ames to get Pooja done for something new I bought. When I entered the temple I noticed that the Panditji was about to start a Pooja for someone else. So I also decided to stand there with folded hands, knowing that my Pooja would not be done that day, and that I would have to come back some other time. Anyway, Panditji started the Pooja, and there were around 10 of us. To be honest (sorry God!) I get very bored during Poojas that last more than 15 minutes. So after 15 minutes I totally lost my focus and started looking at all the idols inside the temple. I was also thinking of blogging about the entire situation too. I was in a different world. That is when I noticed that Panditji was asking each one of us our names and our gotras. I instantly knew that the time had come to embarass myself. I vaguely remembered that my mom once told me that my gotra is haritsa. But somehow I was not very sure. I kind of convinced myself that it was not haritsa. Panditji came to me and asked me my name first. I said Venkat. Then he said, "Which Gotra?". I blurted out "Haritsa" and immediately I said, "I don't know". Panditji gave me a weird stare. I said Haritsa again, and Panditji started chanting shlokas in sanskrit. By now I was very much convinced that my gotra was not haritsa. There I was, standing and thinking that the Pooja would have no effect on me whatsoever because of the wrong gotra.

So now two things were happening to me. Firstly, I felt like a complete idiot. I, a 28 year old guy, did not know his gotra, and by saying "I don't know" in front of 9 other people, I made a complete fool of myself. Secondly, I lost my focus again. I started thinking about food, the rain outside, the people inside and what not. 

I usually dont care when I make a fool of myself because it has become a way of life, but this time was different. I strongly felt that I should have atleast known my gotra for God's sake. And also, there are so many other things in life that I cannot ignore/avoid anymore. I thought to myself that I should start behaving myself, and that I should take life more seriously. I cannot just keep having fun all the time.

But two days later I was like - screw it. I am not going to kill myself thinking about just about every minor thing in life. 

I know for a fact that I am as stubborn as a mule. I don't think I would ever change.